The Tribulations

"Hi, what's your name?"

"John."

"Oh, I like that name. How are you John?"

"I'm good. How are you, sweetheart?"

"I'm fabulous, John."

"That's good to hear."

"So why are you calling, John?"

"I wanted to talk."

"Mmmm, I like that John."

"Yeah. So let's talk."

"What do you want to talk about? What do you want to know?"

"What do I want to know?"

"Yes, John. Do you want to know anything? About me?"

"I would."

"What do you want to know about me, John?"

"What are you wearing?"

"A little nightie. Clothes are always so...constricting."

"Hm, is that right? Nothing but a nightie, you say?"

"That's right John, what do you think of that?"

"I like it. I like it a lot."

"Want to know anything else? Anything you want to know..."

"Yeah, what do you look like?"

"I'm blond, slender...horny."

"That's not something you look like, dear."

"Mmm, I like it when you call me dear..."

"You like a lot things, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"What color are your eyes?"

"What?"

"What's. Your. Eye. Color."

"Oh, why do you want to know?"

"I can know anything I want, can't I?"

"Sure. They're blue, John."

"..."

"John?"

"..."

"John....?"

"Yeah. I'm here. Thank you. Thank you for your time."

He hung up. From the tattered sofa he was sitting on, he hung up his cell phone. He stood up, walked into the nursery, and picked up his crying son. He patted him down, laid him back down to sleep. He walked back through his tiny house and sat back down on the sofa, reaching for the bottle on the coffee table.

And he continued his day.