It's dark, and hell is cold.

If there's anything I'm proud of, it's my stalwart rationality. That and my sexy ass collection of shirts, but I digress. In this bizarre world, I'm not really seeing that in people. I warned you I might sound like a patronizing dickwhistle, but bear with me, I'm not trying to look down on anyone.

I can't understand why people cling to the divine, to supernatural explanations, and to convenient and comfortable platitudes when they're presented the clear truth. Why do we, as a collective species have an affinity for spiritual bullshit when cold, hard fact is right there in front of us, waiting to be comprehended? Is it rational to believe in assertions that have absolutely no grounding in the physical world? My rant, my musing, is going to focus on why I think people refuse to accept that which has already been established.

I can grasp the concept that people want to believe in certain things, but simply denying facts that have damn well near irrefutable evidence is just stupid. I've attempted to avoid religious shit, but at this point, if I were to pussyfoot around it, I'd seem like more of a twat. So I'm going to be blunt. I fucking hate Creationism, intelligent design, whatever you want to call it. Of course, my moniker for it is "Bullshit that the people swallow because it's easy to grasp and appeals to them on a personal level."

Why, oh why do people buy into Creationism? Is our hubris so great that it's not possible for us to believe that monkeys were our ancestors? Do we gain some sort of fucking title, some retarded sense of pride when we believe the almighty jizz of God was responsible for our being? I believe the wise Marcellus Wallace once said "Fuck pride. Pride only hurts. It never helps." But seriously, we have established, for a long time now, that evolution is fact. Darwin's observations in the Galapagos and most, if not all, subsequent studies have determined that evolution is a natural phenomenon, not unlike earthquakes or illegal immigrants. And yet, a good portion of Americans refuse to believe it. For shit's sake, some parents in Kansas held a rally to burn Pokemon paraphenalia because they thought it promoted evolution! Teachers are being fired when they teach evolution, as opposed to Creationism. People from Kansas who don't buy into that shit have probably already moved...

I wonder why we're denying it. Perhaps it's because people think we're better than monkeys, better than most species that populate the earth. I've heard some douchefaces go "Iunno bout choo, but I ain't never come from no monkey." The use of the triple negative is damning enough, but it's incredibly arrogant to think we're better than most species on this planet. Have you ever gone up against a grizzly bear? Those fuckers will rip you several new assholes, use your colon as a decorative banner for their hibernation cave, and then admire it's new hat, composed of several of your internal organs. Listen to me talk about arrogance, heh.

Is it possible that people don't want to comprehend the intricacies of natural selection? Is it that much easier to believe that God decided to masturbate one day and when he climaxed everything was created? Darwin's theory isn't that hard to digest, I'll give you an abridged version:



Heh, on a totally seriously note, all you need to know is that animals adapt to their environment over a period of time, based on selective pressures within that environment. Favorable traits best suited to the environment are passed on, while detrimental ones fade away. It's not that simple, but that's the gist of it. And makes a hell of a lot more sense than an omnipotent being accidentally forgetting to use Kleenex as he got off.

At this point, I sound like a religion-bashing cuntbucket, because that's what I am. I do indeed abhor religion, but that's a story for another time. I'm sure there are some reasonable arguments against evolution, but I honestly have never seen one. I would love to know what they could be. I leave you with a quote by Carl Sagan.

"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."

PS. Carl Sagan was a badass, but he wrote the book that eventually became the movie Contact, and that is just un-fucking-forgivable. He did smoke weed though, so he must be cool, or something.