Rock n' roll ain't noise pollution

I'm sick as shit right now. I had chills for hours last night and had this bump on my neck that I thought was cancer. Turns out it was just a swollen lymph node, but my panicky ass kind of jumped to conclusions. So I've absolutely nothing to do, other than loaf around the house. I played a little Guitar Hero earlier, and that's when I thought of a topic for the blog. I was just going to have word diarrhea by slamming on the keyboard, but I suppose that'd be a lot less funny.

I love Guitar Hero and Rock Band. These games have transcended abstract boundaries and have become cultural phenomenon (phenomena? Irregular plurals can moisturize my nutsack). Besides being a ton of fun to play, the games also allow people to experience new kinds of music, mostly rock, but there's always a nice variety to the music found in these games. Hell, if it weren't for Guitar Hero, I wouldn't be listening to shit like Primus, Pantera, and Freezepop. These games aren't just great for a drunken party where everyone's cramped from Twister, they're a way for artists to reach a new audience. And it's brilliant.

That said, these music games are a double-edged sword. Or something like that. While Guitar Hero and Rock Band have provided hours of fun and rockin' times, they've also bred a new kind of video game elitist. Video game elitists have been with us since Basilosaurs populated the oceans, but these are special in the sense that they're patronizing twats. This special breed of asshole can be observed in their natural habitat, on forums and YouTube comments. Yeah, I know you can beat Through Fire and Flames on Expert. Yes, it's impressive. Yeah, I saw your video. Now shut the hell up. It's remarkable that you did it, but I don't need to be constantly reminded of your supposed awesome-ness. When you need to constantly tell me how cool you are because you five-starred Raining Blood, the vibe I'm getting from you is one of insecurity.

On top of that, when I ask for help, I don't need you to boast heartily about how you already beat it with no problems. I know you fucking beat it, that's why I need help. My reckoning on this issue? You may be good at Guitar Hero, but you're still a dick. Kind of like the villain from The Karate Kid who cheated at the end.

It's been a while since I saw that movie, so I'm probably wrong.

Anyway, rant over. I've been wanting to deride these fartsuckers for a while now; they're all over the Internets. Not that my inarticulate tirade is going to do anything to prevent them from reproducing...

PS. Guitar Hero: World Tour looks like the shit, but I don't have any room for more fake instruments. At this rate, my room's going to be so full of plastic guitars and drums, there will be no space for my gimp to sleep!