Hip to the hop

After years of decrying rap for being so sucky and horrible that a monster from the Cthulu mythos in a black hole couldn't escape it, I have finally began to open up the musical genre. I was introduced slowly, exposed to the mediocre likes of DMX, Busta Rhymes, Ludacris. All very unremarkable, which served to establish my long-standing hatred for the genre of music known as hip-hop. Now that I'm no longer an ignorant cretin, I actually listen to some really good rap.

See, my main problem with rap, a problem I assume is universal for everyone, except the people who make it, assuming they're not self-hating suicidals with a pre-selected razor of choice, is the fact that it seems every rap song that's produced has an emphasis on one of the following:

1) "Bitches and hoes" (Yeah, I technically just used a swear word, but I'm just using their vernacular).

2) Glorifying the ghetto.

3) CASH MONEY

4) CARS AND RIMS

5) Drive-bys

It's repetitive, annoying, and grating. If you heard one song about macking your harem of women, you've heard them all; there is absolutely no way to make it fresh.

Why would you want to glorify that which you've escaped? It's idiotic. Sure, you can have pride for your hood, or whatever the saying is, but it's utterly stupid to make living in squalor, selling drugs, and having gunshots as lullabies sound cool.

Same situation applies with the bitches and hoes and cars and rims; it was amusing the first time. The second time? Akin to having your ears cleaned with a katar.

I judge hip-hop as poetry, because that's precisely what it is, poetry with music. Good poets are fresh, exciting, and cogent. Even if it's a reiteration of one of the five horrible elements, it can be done in a cool way, like how the Wu-Tang Clan does it. Example:



Watch that and you'll want to start breaking things.

No, but seriously. Rappers. Stop writing about bitches and hoes. Seriously, it was annoying after the NWA did it. And for the love of god, murder Soulja Boy. You guys get into feuds that result in bloodshed all the time. Ice T, I know you're not a fan. All it takes is just a couple stolen diamonds, and BAM. Who wouldn't want to purge the scum responsible for this? :

WARNING: LISTEN IF ONLY TO LOWER YOUR IQ BY AT LEAST FIFTY POINTS. ONCE YOU LISTEN TO IT, YOU CANNOT UNLISTEN IT