Hustle and bustle

In recent years, I've come to the realization that I've been trying to grow up, become an adult as quickly as I could. And apparently, that meant adopting mannerisms and habits that most grown-ups do, such as smoke, drink, and gamble, vices, to be honest with you. But upon contemplation, I realize that it's not all about that, I'm not just trying to be cool by doing the things that are limited to only adults, I'm trying to grow up mentally as well, trying, and sometimes succeeding but most times failing to mature and "transcend" my age group.

Within the media, literature, and even social circles, the stereotypes of teenagers and kids have been solidly established. They're self-centered, self-absorbed, selfish, emotional, horny, intolerable, generally even worse than the kids I mentioned in yesterday's entry. The thing is though is that all these characteristics are natural, everyone goes through them when they grow up, it's a part of the process, and it's understandable why these traits rear their heads; hormonal changes, increased stress from various facets of life, etc. But in spite of all this, I have waged an invisible campaign to make sure the aforementioned are kept to a minimum, at least, for me.

A friend of mine recently told me that one of the things he loves about me is the fact that I'm "able to recognize all the things that make us human and then go on attempting to eliminate them from yourself." I wondered to myself, why have I gone on and tried to do this? And I answered, just seconds later, because they're all negative traits, weak and needless, and we all know how much I hate needlessness (See entry Declaration of Suckdependence). The aforementioned characteristics are what make us human, but they're also negative values, and I suppose that being the crazy staunch believer in Darwinism that I am, I'm trying to rid myself of them, and adopting traits that are more useful.

That's not to say that smoking, drinking, and gambling are useful. They're not. They're vices, but enjoyable vices, if kept in moderation. I'm talking about things like contemplation before taking action, speaking with some air of sophistication rather than shooting your mouth off and swearing every other word (I'm still guilty of this though, doubt that will ever change), and knowing the world doesn't revolve around you. I've work to accomplish these, at least to a minimum. I don't think I'm egotistical or lecherous, and I like to think I use my mental capacities to mull over before I go through with anything.

Of course, I still swear like a sailor with Tourrette's Syndrome, so it's all for naught. On serious note though, I wonder if I'm missing out on anything by trying to mature so quickly. Dating? Parties? Loads of fun, I'm sure. Though on second thought, you only live once, right?

PS. I haven't been doing PS notes or swearing very much in the last few entries. I enjoy challenging myself, so I'm going to continue writing without swearing, or at least keeping it to a minimum. I know I'm phasing out PS notes.