Coming up next time...

Well, I saw The Dark Knight last night at midnight, lamentably not in an Imax theater, because the management are poofs, but it was quite an experience to behold anyway. I was planning on reviewing the movie, which I still plan to, after I remember how to write a critique, so I'm going to recount the experience instead.

So we get to the theater round 10:30, we walk in and figure "Wow, that line is longer than the welfare line in Compton, good thing we're seeing it in Imax." So we go get our tickets but the guy tells us they sold out weeks ago and we're going to have to settle for general theaters. Alright, fair enough, not much we can do. We go wait in line for a while and finally they let people in. But we were near the end of the line, so when we get into our theater...it's fucking packed. After hunting around the other theaters, we decide to settle into the fourth row, almost right in front of the huge fucking screen.

So after some ringtone fights, these little kids dressed up as the Joker went up and yelled that they wanted to do a pre-show. Turns out that pre-show was nothing more than them standing up there awkwardly not doing anything. The poor bastards were booed off. It gave me great pleasure and made up for the fact that my Sprite exploded.

So the movie starts and it's pretty much perfect and flawless and some other synonym, delivering me to the Promised Land and surrounding me with beautiful women (which is an ironic description because there was an especially repugnant hambeast sitting in front of me). Then we reach the end...and the fucking movie stops. Right at the fucking ending, man! The entire theater is outraged and yelling and shit. For a second, we think that was the actual ending, but turns out the projector got screwy. After about 15 minutes, the movie starts up again and cuts out again after about a minute. This time I got so livid, I screamed "WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!?" not remembering there were kids in the theater (but then again, there were stoners who were talking loudly about blunts and people smoking, so a little profanity doesn't hurt that much!). And then the movie starts again, but the bottom half of the picture is on the top part of the screen, with a huge black line separating it.

Afterwards, we talked about how the management is going to fucking hear it. Good thing we left as soon as it was over, getting trampled to death by people dressed as characters from the Batman mythos would've been a terrible way to end the night.

PS. Yeah, there's no way in fucking hell I'm only seeing that movie once. A minimum of five times should suffice.