Hail to the chief.

Election day is coming up in a few months, with the two big parties going head to head. You could also view it as one generation clashing with another, the younger, Internet-raised, self-enlightened, liberal douchemonkeys versus the older, obsolete, afraid-of-change, conservative dickholes in an epic, on stage, gladiatorial melee with the combatants being a young, spry, hopeful junior Senator from Illinois versus a former POW, flip-flopping, senile, fart with anger management problems. Guess who I want to president?

The way I see it, America is in a very large hole, one as deep as the vagina of Hera herself. Housing crisis, rampant inflation, selling several of your internal organs for a gallon of gasoline, and a quagmire of a war in country where the enemy isn't clearly defined. We need to get out of Hera's vagina before she's on her period. Because if we don't, we'll be up to our necks in menstrual blood, drowning. And once we drown, this supposed great nation will be utterly fucked.

If the introductory paragraph wasn't blunt enough, I want Obama to be president. At first, a few months ago, actually, I was afraid of his relative inexperience compared to Hill-Dogg or John McCain. But then I remembered that McCain served as senator for an untold amount of years and look at him now. He's a flip-flopping relic who doesn't even know how to use a computer. On top of that, he's been noted on the record of angry outbursts, calling his wife a "trollop" and a "cunt." Moreover, the policies he would enact as president are mere continuations of Dubya's dubious achievements. Again, he's said he wanted to stay in Iraq for a very long time, has provided no concrete plans to alleviate problems on the homefront, and is a general hypocrite and flip-flopper. If we don't know his position on certain issues, what exactly are we voting for here? He could claim to support Roe vs. Wade during his campaign to swing votes and then turn around and piss in those faces when he's in office! I appreciate John McCain's service to the country (he was a POW in Nam), and his experience has made him a relevant figure, but he just doesn't have the stones to fix what's broken. He simply does not have his priorities in order. I would think a military man who served in the quagmire of the Vietnam War would understand that staying in Iraq for a hundred years would be a very, very idiotic thing to do, especially in light of what bullshit has been plaguing America.

That being said, I'm not behind Obama 110%. Like most Democrats and liberals, I feel what he's preaching may be a bit idealist rather than concrete plans he can hammer out. He has made a lot of strides to prove he's got some meat on his bones, passing legislation that would improve our infrastructure, but I still can't shake the feeling that a lot of what he's saying would still be blocked in a partisan Congress and House of Reps. I support a lot of his positions, but disagree with a few of his foreign policy plans. Small surges in Afghanistan and seeking action outside of just sanctions with Iran are extremely abhorrent ideas. And while the genocide in Darfur is extremely unfortunate, let the UN Peacekeepers deal with it. What America needs is to reestablish its roots and get everything under control before we pursue other interests.

Right now, the economy needs to bounce back. The war in Iraq needs to end. Our debt needs to be reduced significantly. Greenhouse gas emissions need to be cut. Alternative, renewable energy sources must be uncovered and utilized. Dependency on foreign oil and oil in general needs to end. We need universal health care, funding for public education, and friendly relations with other nations. Is this possible? Maybe. Is it going to happen any time soon? Hell no. But it all begins with change. And Obama brings, ahem, change we can believe in.

PS. If Obama can convince my cynical ass that we can get out of this slump, you know he's doing something right.