A list of people I admire

In this godforsaken world, there are few role models. Sure there's the occasional Martin Luther King Jr, but for the most part, the people on this earth are lonesome, predictable creatures that obey the basic rules of sociology, myself among them. But there are people I am in awe of, most of them fictional. Even if they're fictional, though, that doesn't mean they can't be role models, right? So let's begin:

Dr. Gregory House: This one is obvious. There's no person I love more than Dr. House. While he may be a misanthropic, cynical, rude sonofabitch, he's also brilliant, rational, and steadfast in his beliefs, and that's what I admire most about him. He doesn't change for anyone, his convictions cannot be broken and he'll go to extreme lengths to do the right thing. The show depicts him as this rugged antihero, but if his best qualities were to suddenly manifest in the world's population, the world would be a better place.

Bear Grylls: He's not fictional, so maybe you'll find me a bit more credible on this one. Bear Grylls exemplifies everything every young boy wants to be when they grow up. A savvy adventurer who experiences extreme thrills in the most beautiful places on earth while taking care of himself with nothing but a knife. He's intelligent, cool, collected, and can kill a stingray with a homemade spear. Who wouldn't love him? Besides stingrays. And maybe jaded Steve Irwin fans.

Batman/Bruce Wayne: Batman is the ultimate janitor; a ninja who uses fear, intimidation, and cutting edge technology to clean up the mean streets of Gotham City. But underneath that mask is a flawed man, traumatized by the murder of his parents. Everyone can relate to him; he's only a man, he has no powers, but at the same time, he's what everyone wishes they could be; a vigilante who takes action, striking at the heart of injustice and corruption: the shining example of change. The Dark Knight is ironically the light in Gotham.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: My favorite president of all time is also one of the few people I look up to. FDR is pure determination, grit, and badassery. This man was stricken with polio and still managed to steer the United States out of the Great Depression and building up a basis for the infrastructure we have today. Sure, a couple of his decisions were dubious, like the internment of Japanese civilians, but there's no denying that he changed the Oval Office forever. More than that, he showed Americans that the only thing to fear is fear itself. Yeah, you don't even need to fear polio. Or Japanese kamikaze fighters.

Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw: Video game journalism, and journalism in general, I suppose, has been spotty the past few years, with sites selling review scores and favorable coverage to publishers; you don't know who to trust anymore. But Yahtzee says "Fuck off, you sell-out twatmonkeys." Besides being side-splittingly hilarious and incredibly witty, Yahtzee's brutal honesty and journalistic integrity is something to be admired. He may be a video game journalist, but FOX News and the like could take a few cues from this callipygian superman.

Also, I challenge you to watch his review of Guitar Hero 3 and not laugh:



Buckethead: Buckethead is one of my favorite guitarists, and rightfully so. His music encompasses a wide variety, from DJ scratching to funk. His varied and impressive musicianship aside, Buckethead says things through his songs that I wish I could express. He dedicates songs to his parents, his loved ones, and through that you see he's a really nice guy, even if he's dressed like an even crazier version of Michael Myers. Rock on, Buckethead, rock on.

And of course, I love all of you who have been putting up with the bullshit I spew on this blog for the past month. Especially you <3. But not you. Yeah, fuck you.

PS. I was going to put Adolph Hitler on this list just for shits and giggles. But that would be mighty insensitive of me, wouldn't it? Good thing I'm so fucking sensitive then.

PPS. It's never too soon for Steve Irwin jokes.